People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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