P.S. I can't hear my feet
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
