What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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