I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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