it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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