Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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