Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
