So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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