I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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