I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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