Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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