awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
