By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't deserve a penis
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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