I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
