He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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