I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
