I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize