someone get that fucking seahorse.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
