Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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