you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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