i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
