covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
MIDGETS
????
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm like, not good at living.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
