I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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