your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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