how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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