I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish i was in the wii world.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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