Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
