Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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