he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
