no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
