ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
