I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
