do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
