i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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