I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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