Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
