how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
