If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize