I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
