It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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