She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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