i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
