im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
