at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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