How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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