i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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