Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
how drunk are you?
Several
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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