WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
