We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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