I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
God gave him joint rollers for hands
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
