A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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