oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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