I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
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i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
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I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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