I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
