You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
