It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
