How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
