so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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