If i could tip my vagina, i would.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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