I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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