If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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